- relatives: any boyfriends/girlfriends?
- me: no
- typical conversation at every holiday since I was 5
when I meet someone for the first time it’s awkward especially if i’ve stalked them on facebook so i know everything about them so i just have to pretend that im sherlock holmes and im just really good at deducting things about people
(Source: sherlielocks, via saradises)
I wish we said “fancy” in America. As in, “I fancy you.” It’s such a more agreeable term than “I have a crush on you.” What’s a crush? Like, I AM A BOA CONSTRICTOR AND I AM GOING TO IMMOBILIZE YOU WITH MY MISPLACED AND OBSESSIVE AFFECTION. “I fancy you” is like, you’re so shiny and glittery and I just want to put you on a shelf and look at you for a while ‘cause you’re fancy.
(Source: aimmyarrowshigh, via therewillbefeasting)
possibly the greatest poem ever written by a first grader
Persons
People can walk
but not
handsanitizers
Because
handsanitizers
don’t
have
legs
(via therewillbefeasting)
- Me after running for one minute: I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing
(Source: doctor-whoson, via awkward-aeries)
“Crocs” by Pitbull feat. Nickelback
Download for free on Internet Explorer
(via awkward-aeries)
[x]
(Source: vlogbros, via ifyoufeelthesameway)
